Long time, no blog.

I last blogged in August. Whoops. Turns out that taking care of a baby human takes ALL your time. Coincidentally, Caroline also started crawling in August. I haven't sat down since then.

I really love blogging, so I spent the morning having a dance rave with Caroline. Hopefully she'll be asleep long enough for me to keep my computer open without little fingers turning my CAPS lock on and off constantly.

Here's a little big update on the O'Briens over the past 8 months.

Caroline...Growing Like a Weed

Well, maybe not like a weed. She's itty bitty. If you've kept up with my monthly birthday pictures on facebook, you might have noticed that the weight on the chalkboard constantly fluctuated up and down. Because she only went to the doctor at 6 months, 9 months, and 12 months, I had to guess her weight on the months in between. I was also SURE she had gained at least a pound every month (like the textbooks say), but then we would go to the pediatrician and find out she had gained one pound in 3 months. I guess she takes after me in the size department.

Developmentally, she's been growing faster than a weed. She started crawling the day she turned 5 months old. She pulled up to stand the day before she turned 6 months. 

So bald.

She started solid food around 5 months old and was legitimately angry we hadn't been feeding her green beans since birth. There are very few foods she won't eat. Around 9 months old, she ate a grown-man sized plate of roast beef and potatoes. We watched in shock and awe. 

She is perfect. I assume every parent thinks their child is perfect, but Caroline is actually perfect. She sleeps 10-12 hours at night, wakes up giggling (and usually yelling "Daddy!"), takes 2 solid naps a day. She communicates everything she needs through sign language, words, or pointing. She very rarely cries. When she's hungry, she signs "more." When she needs a new diaper, she pats her belly and heads to her bedroom. When she's tired, she signs "tired" and says "blanket." She's becoming this wonderful little person that I genuinely enjoy spending time with. I look forward to all the new things she learns every day.

These are a few of her favorite things...

• Reading book after book after book after book after book.... "Whistle for Willie" is her current favorite. She woke up at 2:00 am one night pointing at her bookshelf saying "illie! illie!" So now the book lives in the living room.
• Her chores. I can't wait to tell her some day how much she loved chores. Right now, she has two chores. She lets Itchy out of his crate in the morning, and she throws her wet diapers in the trash can. Don't try to do these things without her.
• Running. She's quick.
• Playing outside.
• Mardi Gras beads. (Yikes.)
• The Sprout Channel. There is a morning show called Sprout Live with this chicken puppet named Chica. That is the only way to start her day.
• Naps. For real. She claps and giggles when I lay her in her crib.

Chris O'Brien, PT, DPT

Chris is working as a physical therapist with Drayer Physical Therapy. I love their model of therapy. A very honest, hands-on company that gives individualized care. You won't find that at most physical therapy clinics. Chris' clinic just recently moved to Mt. Juliet and is thriving. He has great co-workers and really enjoys his job. Thumbs up from Chris.

Laura O'Brien, Seamstress??

After having a baby girl, I discovered the JOY of dressing her in adorable outfits. But being the thrifty (and broke) girl that I am, I was disappointed to see how expensive baby clothes were. Some of my favorites looked very easy to sew. The only problem--I didn't know how to sew. My mother-in-law stepped in and gave me a sewing lesson over Halloween. I didn't actually get to touch the sewing machine at that time [see above about the crawling baby], but she sent me home with the sewing machine and YouTube. 

This was Chris' great-grandmother's sewing machine. The first time I touched it, I got a bunch of thread bunched up and the whole thing jammed. I had a panic attack that I had just broken this family heirloom. But after many text messages with Chris' mom and 100+ google searches, I started to get the hang of it. Fast forward a few months, and I am having a blast making little outfits for Caroline. For my birthday, Chris bought me my own sewing machine. It also monograms and does appliques. I started an Etsy shop for some of my sewing creations. Check it out!

 Caroline Rose Boutique

Peanut-Free

Shortly after Caroline's first birthday, she tried her first (and last) peanut butter sandwich. A few hours later, her eyes and ears swelled up and hives ran from her neck down. A blood test confirmed she is allergic to peanuts. We now carry an Epi-pen everywhere we go and have said goodbye to all our favorite peanut butter snacks. As a teacher, I totally understand how difficult it can be to accommodate for a peanut allergy, but I have a new perspective on it now. Please, please, please...if you know of someone with a peanut allergy, put the goodies away for their safety. When they are not around, enjoy your Reese's (and invite me)!

We Bought a House

Oh the stories I could tell about our living situations over the past 5 years! I have blogged about a few of them. Chris and I moved into our first apartment in Knoxville after we got married in 2010. Since then, we have shared 4 homes, moving every summer except one (summer 2012). We are moving again this summer, but this time, we are staying a while! The housing market is absolutely insane right now. Houses would go on the market in the morning and have a contract that night. We were very fortunate to find our house when we did and for everything to go relatively smoothly in the closing. I've never been a fan of "#blessed", but after so much upheaval in our lives, especially with housing, this house is a blessing straight from God.

She was waving.

That should about catch you up. There have been many trips, parties, late nights, early mornings, dance parties, tears, and fun over the past 8 months, but we are absolutely loving our new life as parents. We love Mt. Juliet. We love our new jobs. We love our little girl. I'm going to attempt to blog more often. Caroline's sweet and sassy little personality promises some great stories. So many new adventures ahead!

2 am

This is my beautiful, sleeping machine.

She has been a champion sleeper since the day she was born. (Thanks, Chris.) She started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old. She takes 4 naps a day. Often, I just lay her in bed and she falls asleep without crying. But she is still a baby and has off nights--won't fall asleep, wakes up every few hours, up before the sun. It only happens once in a blue moon.

Last night was one of those nights.

It started with bath time, I think. Or the squash she had earlier. Or the skipped evening nap. Who knows. This is where the mind games start for me, though. Trying to figure out where we went wrong.

Everything was going great. She ate her bedtime meal, fell asleep, and I gently placed her in her crib. Party time! I head back to my room to show Chris this ridiculous shirt I found in my closet. We laugh and discuss whether I should keep it or not, when WAAHHH. Uh oh. Baby is awake. No biggie, this happens. I pick her up and rock her back to sleep in less than 5 minutes. As I gently lay her back in bed, she startles again and this time, she looks up at me with her big, brown eyes looking so sad. I still didn't think much of it and decided to let Chris rock her to sleep this time. It usually takes about 5 minutes and will give me a chance to finish getting ready for bed.

I was wrong.

15 minutes later, she is screaming while Chris frantically tries to calm her. Since Chris has work in the morning, I offer to take her and let him sleep. Caroline and I settle into our nighttime rocking chair routine of singing UT's alma mater and patting her bum. But it isn't working. I'm a cool, collected mom so I don't panic. We try different positions, different songs, different blankets. It isn't working. 30 minutes goes by and she is still screaming. I check her diaper, take her temperature, try feeding her again. I'm now boarding the train to Crazy Town.

So I start praying. "Please, Jesus. Let her sleep." Over and over. There's something about a baby's cry in the middle of the night when you're exhausted and your back hurts because you have to sit at a funny angle in the rocking chair so your little short legs can reach the ground that sends you right over the border into Crazy Town.

I seriously start contemplating calling the pediatrician to ask the following questions:
"Is my baby dry drowning?"
"Can squash send your baby into anaphylactic shock with no symptoms?"
"My baby has burped really big a few times and has a booger. Should we go to the emergency room?"

Hello, Crazy Town! I'm your new mayor.

I was very fortunate that I did not experience postpartum depression after Caroline's birth. However, if postpartum anxiety is a thing, I definitely had it. It only lasted a few weeks, but it was scary. I constantly thought Caroline was dying. She made a lot of funny, snoring noises after she was born, and I would sit by her cradle all night to make sure she was breathing. I later learned this was normal, but you wouldn't have been able to convince me of this in the moment. The only thing that helped me sleep at all those first few weeks was Jesus. I don't say that as a joke or to Jesus juke anyone. The ONLY way I could let Caroline out of my sight and go to sleep was to pray that Jesus would sleep in the cradle with her and breathe every breath with her. Then I had to believe that He actually did it. And He did.

It was total surrender that I cannot be responsible for this child on my own. I cannot meet any of her needs on my own. Only Jesus can keep her alive. The memories of how Jesus saved my sanity in those early days came flooding back right as the 2 am breakdown loomed.

Just being there for Caroline and letting Jesus do the rest takes a lot of pressure off.

After 4 hours of on-and-off crying, Caroline finally started to settle. I still don't know why she was upset last night, but I held her until she felt better. Those big, brown eyes eventually closed and we got a little sleep. She uncharacteristically woke again at 5:15, but after a quick meal, she easily fell back asleep. Granted- we were sleeping together in the guest bedroom at this point, but anything to make her feel better.

I'm sure this won't be the last time I'm up all night with a baby. We may do it all over tonight. 2 am is a lonely time in a dark room. But it's comforting to know I'm not alone.

And only a little crazy. Right? Other moms have visited Crazy Town at 2 am, too? Just me then? Okay.

Unemployed

First things first. How adorable is this side-by-side? My twins.

Today is my first real day of being a stay-at-home mom. I've been home with Caroline since she was born in March, but I was on maternity leave and then just a regular teacher on summer break. But today, my friends and coworkers went back to school, and I did not. I still woke up at 6:00 am, but instead of getting ready for work, I fed my baby, got peed on, played pat-a-cake, and snuggled. The mom life.

Today, Miss Baby turns 5 months old! Life has changed so much in 5 months. Chris and I have switched roles in our family. Chris is now the sole provider, while I take care of the home. Caroline is settling into our family as if she's always been here. She's so happy. All. The. Time. Seriously, she's never sad. When she's tired, she squeals to keep herself awake. At nap time, we just lay her in her crib, and she goes to sleep. When she wakes up, she laughs and coos until we come get her. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I thank God every day for this precious gift. She's a glimpse of Heaven.

We do have a small prayer request for her. She's still a little tiny. Her doctor diagnosed her with reflux and put her on a special medicine (made by an apothecary...ye olde Prilosec). He also encouraged us to start solid foods to help get calories in her. She's gaining some weight, but not nearly as fast as she should. When we met her new pediatrician in Mt. Juliet, he also discovered she still has a slight heart murmur. She had this when she was born, but the doctor on call in the hospital said it had disappeared when we were discharged at 2 days old. Her current doctor assured me that a very faint heart murmur is nothing to worry too much about, but since she also presents with slow weight gain, it could signify a potential problem. Of course, it's also possible that she's perfectly fine and has just inherited my tiny 5'0" genes. But we still pray that she will continue to grow big and strong and stay her happy, healthy self.

Chris and I are adjusting to life in Mt. Juliet. We absolutely love it. It has everything we need with no traffic! We are getting involved with a local church. We are beginning to meet people and can't wait to build new relationships. I think moving has been more of an adjustment for me than for Chris. Staying home with Caroline is a dream come true, but it can be very lonely when you're in a new town and limited by a small baby. If anyone has any ideas for mommy-baby activities, send them my way!

Some more baby blooper pictures, because they are quickly becoming my favorites:

And a classic. Mid-sneeze:

So Many Things

Well I haven't blogged in a while, but I'm not sorry. I have a baby.

Actually, we have been so busy these past few months. I have joked that I feel busier and more tired than I did when I was working full time. A recap:

March

• I had a baby.

April

• Traveled to my parents' lake house with Caroline for the first time. She did so great on her first overnight trip. We learned she does not like when Mommy eats greasy food.

• Chris took the Physical Therapy Licensure Exam and ROCKED it. 

May

• Chris graduated and officially became Dr. O'Brien!

• We traveled to Atlanta for Matt and Karen's wedding!

• I went back to work for the last week of school.

• We went back to the lake house, and I caught a fish as big as Caroline.

June

• We went to Knoxville. <3

• We celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary.

• Caroline traveled to Mississippi for the first time. Sarah and I made this:

• We moved to a new house in Mount Juliet.

[no picture. sorry, stalkers.]

• Chris started his first job as Dr. O'Brien, PT, DPT.

July

• We traveled to Tupelo for Matt and Stephanie's wedding.

• We went to Lake Week[end] with Chris' extended family. I somehow managed to take no pictures, so here is an adorable picture of Caroline from today:

That should bring us up-to-date. Life is so fun right now. Except that the IRS is still after us. There have got to be richer, more interesting people actually breaking the law. WHHYYY. Sorry, we really are enjoying life. Chris loves his job. It's so refreshing to have him come home feeling energized. I'm adjusting to the stay-at-home mom life. It's a lot busier than I thought. 

Caroline is a joy. Seriously. I miss her when she takes naps and look at pictures of her when she goes to bed. She can roll across a room, spin 360 degrees on her tummy, and "talk" all day. She takes 3-4 naps a day and sleeps 9-10 hours at night. She's still breastfeeding. 

Two weeks ago, we went to the doctor for her 4 month appointment. She had not gained as much weight as she should have. The doctor thinks it could be genetic-related, since her mother is part ginger pygmy, or the fact that for a while, our house looked like that Family Guy episode where they all take ipecac.

She's on medicine for reflux now and has started some solid foods to see if that helps her gain weight. If not, she will be officially diagnosed as a ginger pygmy, too. 

I believe that's everything going on with us. I am feeling this intense need to hang posters on walls and label desks. It's very weird to not be going back to school this fall, but I'm looking forward to spending time with my baby girl and actually trying the 8,234 things I've pinned on Pinterest. So if any of my teacher friends need help in their classrooms, holla at your girl. 

How a Baby Taught Me I Am Beautiful

I have always struggled with self-confidence and body image issues. I am quick to point out all my flaws--my pasty skin, crooked toes, crooked teeth, just barely tall enough to ride roller coasters..to name a few. In fact, Chris and I's first big "fight" was because he was lovingly telling me short jokes, and I was super offended. That fight had nothing to do with Chris and everything to do with my ever-plummeting self-confidence. I realize that most things I (and you, for that matter) notice in a mirror are literally unnoticeable to everyone else. But it doesn't stop me from noticing...and caring...and whining.

Then I had a baby. Childbirth is THE most disgusting thing in the world. I saw some pretty ugly things on March 4, 2014. Unfortunately, Chris saw some even uglier things. Whoops. But then we saw the most beautiful thing we've ever seen.

1 minute after birth

She changed everything.

She was so gorgeous. She had perfect skin--so tan and even. Her eyes were deep blue (though they are dark hazel now), and her eyelashes would make any grown woman jealous. She had soft, auburn hair. She was perfect in every way.

And I realized that this beautiful creature had come from me.

God had used parts of me to make a beautiful new creation.

I am beautiful. I always was.

Nothing about my body is quite the same it used to be. I probably won't be wearing a bikini this summer. But it's okay because my body did a beautiful thing. It housed and nourished a little girl, and now it feeds her perfect nutrition. How beautiful.

But this is not a blog post about how a woman's body changes after childbirth. It's about how a baby can make you realize that none of those little imperfections matter. In fact, they were never really imperfections in the first place.

I see my daughter's shiny red hair and know that she wouldn't have that if I wasn't the pasty ginger I am.

I tickle my daughter's beautiful feet and tiny baby toes and realize they are my own. They don't look so ugly anymore.

I hold my daughter's little hand and recognize those little fingers. They are soft and delicate, instead of short and stubby.

All her smirks, raised eye brows, open-mouth smiles, and tiny, toothless grins remind me that she is both beautiful and MINE. All I see is perfection. She will probably pick herself apart when she's older, and I probably won't see what she's talking about. So how much more so is it important that I teach her how beautiful she is by showing her how beautiful I am? Not that stare-in-the-mirror, look-down-on-others beautiful. Not that ignore-the-imperfections beautiful. But the kind of beautiful that understands 1) we are all made by God, 2) God doesn't make mistakes, 3) therefore we have no imperfections, so 4) we are beautiful and always have been.

Inner beauty will always be more important than outer beauty, but if you've ever been a person, you know that the way we look DOES matter to us. The way we see ourselves affects the way we feel about ourselves and treat others. I want my daughter to know she is beautiful. I want her to teach others that they are beautiful too. She's already off to a great start by teaching me.


Happy 2 months old, Caroline Rose!

#ispelledsquealswrong

Growin Like a Weed

My baby girl is 8 weeks old today!

I cannot believe how much she has changed since she was born. She is absolutely perfect. Here's a little update on everything she's doing:

Eating: Still holding strong to the mommy milk. Hoping to avoid formula as long as we can--it gives me anxiety when I see how much it costs. She eats every 2-3 hours. We try to give her a bottle at least once a day so she gets used to taking a bottle. She's very confused by the bottle but doesn't hate it!

Sleeping: LIKE A BOSS. She has slept through the night for 5 nights in a row!! I'm talking 8-10 hours straight. The trade-off is that she doesn't sleep much during the day. Daytime naps last anywhere from 15-45 minutes, which makes it hard to get much done. But I can't complain!

Weight: 10 lbs, 4 oz., which puts her in the 57th percentile. She's gained 2 1/2 lbs since birth.

Development: She tracks everything, including Chris and me when we walk around the room. Starting to reach for objects. Smiles and laughs all the time! She's starting to "talk" (coo) to us, but saves her best conversations for the bears that hang above her swing. She wants to suck her thumb so bad but can't figure out how to get her hand to her mouth without smacking herself in the face.

A few of her cutest pictures:

She has the prettiest smile.

Chris and I are doing well. We were in survival mode there for a while, but we're starting to get it together now. I take a shower most days now. I have taken Lil C to the grocery store, breastfeeding classes, and Alabama alone. (Major accomplishment.) I have even typed this whole blog post with one hand!

Chris has a bit more on his plate. He will take the NPTE tomorrow. This is the licensure exam for physical therapists. He's basically been MIA for the past month while he studies. Major prayers that everything goes well tomorrow! He also finishes his last clinical this week and GRADUATES next week! This has been such a long road, and I cannot be prouder of him. I don't want our new addition to overshadow what a huge deal this is. He gets his own blog post later.

Finally, we could use some prayer in these next few months. Not only do we have a new baby to adjust to, but Chris will begin job hunting. We have no idea where we will be living one month from now. We could very well be staying in the Nashville area, but we could also be moving anywhere in a 200 mile radius. We pray that we will be obedient to wherever God takes us. He already knows where we're meant to raise our family. I just hope the process of getting there is smooth.

Okay, as much as I love Caroline's beautiful smiling face, her blooper pictures are just as sweet (and hilarious). For every great picture of her, there are 7 more that I took while trying to get her to smile. So I'll leave you with these gems.

Learning to Be a Mama

We are 3 weeks in and all smiles over here at the O'Brien household! It's been a whirlwind, but we are loving every second. Chris and I are learning how to be parents, and Caroline is learning how to be a human. She is very good at it, so far. She's such a great baby! She eats very well--already up a pound from her birth weight! She sleeps in 4-5 hour stretches at night (which feels like an eternity in new mamahood land), and she's starting to stay awake more during the day.

I've learned quite a bit in these last 3 weeks.

• First things first: my nose did return to its normal size. I know you guys were worried, as was I. Pregnancy rhinitis is no joke.

• Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing, but NOT EASY. I have no judgment for mamas who are not breastfeeding, but I am so thrilled that I've been able to exclusively breastfeed up to this point. Top three reasons I love it: a) it's FREE, b) I hate washing bottles, and c) nutritional value. A lot of people get wrapped around the axle about the nutritional value of breastfeeding (which is a good thing), but I think we need to celebrate how FREE and dish-less it is. Frugal mama, for the win. I hear once you get past the pain, it's actually enjoyable too. We're halfway there, literally.

• A lot of strange things happen to your body after you have a baby. People kind of talk about them, but no one can prepare you for the extent to which they occur. I'd be happy to discuss them with you if you are interested, but I'll be a lady on the blog. I'll just say....whoa.

• Not wearing makeup for 3 weeks saves you a lot of money on makeup and does wonders for your skin!

• When I was pregnant, everyone said, "Sleep while you can!" Well, I have to say I get MORE SLEEP now than I did when I was pregnant. Pregnant sleep= 8 pillows and still uncomfortable, waking every 2 hours to pee, sleep apnea due to the rhinitis, and the room feeling like 115 degrees despite the arctic blast. Now, even though I wake up every few hours to feed Caroline and rock her back to sleep, at least the sleep I get is sound and good. So for all you pregnant ladies who are barely sleeping, please know that it can get better. (Or possibly, my baby is an angel.)

Other things to note:

Chris is the best husband and daddy I could have ever hoped for. He stayed home with us the first 2 weeks. When I could barely get out of bed or walk, Chris got up every 2 hours to change diapers and bring Caroline to me. Then he waited the hour it took her to eat and put her back in bed. He leaves work to come to her pediatrician appointments. He goes grocery shopping at 7 am on Saturday to get everything on my list. And most importantly, he loves on this little baby every second he gets.

My mom has also been a life saver. When Chris went back to work, she came over almost every day to help me. Sometimes she made dinner. Sometimes she held the baby while I took a shower. Sometimes she just kept me company on Chris' 12 hour days. Caroline and I are so grateful for Mama KK!

We have also had so many great friends bring us meals over the past few weeks. Y'all don't know how wonderful it is to not worry about dinner. On days when Caroline has needed 24/7 cuddles, I haven't showered or eaten, and Chris is at work, the meals have been a lifesaver. Thank you.

A few of my favorite pictures...because I think my kid is pretty cute:

And Chris' favorite picture: Caroline's first selfie!

A final note:
The mommy wars are real. And it makes me sad. I think all the mamas and babies out there would be much happier if everyone stepped off their soapbox about diapering/feeding/sleeping/toe nail polish and encouraged each other to do what's best for their baby. I was a formula baby who slept on my stomach from day 1. Not only am I still alive, but I have a master's degree from a top-notch university. I'M FINE. My baby is breastfed and sleeps swaddled on her back... because that's what she likes. If she didn't like that, we would do something different. Please mamas, stop making other mamas who make different choices than you feel bad. Sad mamas make sad babies. Nothing else.

Unless you choose not to vaccinate. Your baby cannot play with my baby. Because formula won't kill my baby, but the measles will.