Things That Are Dumb

Papa Murphy's Pizza.

Let me break this down for you.

You call Papa Murphy's and order a pizza. Let's say...a pepperoni and sausage pizza. Let's keep it simple. So far, so good. Sounds like a normal pizza order. But then...OH wait. They don't deliver. You have to pick it up. So you drive to Papa Murphy's to get your pizza. You arrive, and they hand you your pizza. "Why does it feel so cold?" you ask. OH that's because it's FROZEN. They made you a frozen pizza. Now you have to drive your frozen pizza home, preheat your oven (at least 10 minutes), and cook your pizza (another 20 minutes). Finally, your pizza is cooked and ready to eat. You take a bite of this teasing pizza that you worked so hard for, and OHHH it's TERRIBLE! All that work for terrible pizza. Really, Papa Murphy's? HOW are you still opening stores all across the country??

Our sink.

Measuring at a whopping 5 inches deep, our sink is not what you would call impressive. I was initially skeptical, but since people tell me size doesn't matter, I was willing to give it a try. But OH, the faucet is FLAT? So 5 inches is really the space I have to wash dishes? AND the faucet only reaches the inner corner of the sink? WHY hasn't this apartment complex realized that a shallow sink can be easily remedied with a tall faucet? I'm talking:

How awesome would that be? I would easily have another foot to wash dishes.

Things I can't wash in my sink:

• 9x13 in. pans
• mixing bowls
• coffee pot
• 12 in. frying pan
• pizza pan
• cookie sheets
• muffin pan
• Fill our Brita water filter

Pant size-to-pant length ratio.

People should be proportional. They're not always, but they should be. When a person's weight is not proportional to their height, it's usually errs on the side of too big for the height. Rarely is a person a lot skinnier than they should be based on their height. So WHY do they only make size 0 pants in lengths for 6' tall people?? Most people who wear size 0 are not 6' tall supermodels. They are teeny tiny, 4'11" girls that are proportional to their height. Also, can we please move the small sizes off the very top shelves at stores? I know it looks better to arrange the pants from smallest to largest, top to bottom, but most people who wear those little sizes are short. We can't reach them. We can't buy your pants if we can't reach them.

Children, including my future children, will see shows like this and think that's what they are supposed to act like when they grow up. I am not okay with this.


This is not an exhaustive list. More to come.

I'm on Steroids

Wow... Sorry for taking so long to update. I've been busy trying not to die. And setting up my new classroom, which is also a little like dying. Here's the story...

Never Take Medicine You Are Allergic To
But really. Don't.

You may remember from my last post that I had a kidney infection a few weeks ago. I thought going to the doctor, getting my kidney shot, and taking antibiotics was the end of the story. It wasn't. Here's a part of the story I didn't think was important to tell last time:

Doctor: "Okay, we've got the solution. Are you allergic to sulfa-based drugs?"
Me: "I don't know. I've never had them. Probably not. I'm only allergic to bandaids*."
Doctor: "Alright. We'll give them a try."
   *Long story.

Well, I took my sulfa-based antibiotics for a full week. I felt pretty crummy the whole time, but I just assumed that was because of the kidney infection. Then this happened:

My leg while driving down the road. Super safe photography.

Tiny red dots appeared all over my legs. Just legs at first. Throughout the day, I sent picture texts of my legs to Chris as any good, non-disgusting wife should. I had to go to the doctor anyway that day for a re-do TB test (another long story), so I had them check it out. And sure enough, I am now a card carrying member of the Sulfa Allergy Club. She told me to take a little benadryl and life would be fine. My first day of work with my new co-workers was the next day, so I was pretty eager to make the bumps go away ASAP. One benadryl pill later, I was in a barely-breathing, no-idea-who-I-was coma. Chris and I decided that benadryl would not be a good choice for my first day of work. I went to bed and prayed the allergy would go away.

The next morning, it got bigger. My entire body was covered in little red bumps. I'm talking fingers and toes, too. Not a good way to start the 1st day on the job. Mad face all around. I called the doctor, explained that I was developing full blown leprosy, and she prescribed steroids. 


Steroids. Are. Awesome.


I took 6 that night, and the next morning, everything was gone! Lesson learned. No more sulfa drugs. And now, I will hold of you legally responsible for notifying medical personnel should I ever be unconscious and they try to give me sulfa.

2nd Grade Adventures
I've been working super hard to get my classroom set up. That may have to be another blog post, because let's face it...my classroom is awesome. Most of the work has been jumping through the red tape in the hiring process. No need to vent about specifics, but let's have one more mad face to get it out. I really am so grateful to have a job. God is awesome.
 

As with any teacher, I am spending an extraordinary amount of my own money to furnish my classroom. I am heavily relying on donations to make it through these first few months. Big thanks to my mom and her friends for loaning this awesome classroom mat. I'm missing the letter L, which is ironic because the letter L is the only portion of my wall alphabet I can find. Thank you also to the O'Briens and Simpsons for helping me stock my classroom library with adorable books. If you feel like helping a poor teacher make her classroom awesome, here are a few things I still need:

• Large pillows. Like dorm-style, over-stuffed pillows.
• Bean bags.
• More books! (Small chapter books, little story books, etc.)
• File folders.
• Office supplies: stapler, adult scissors, pens, tape.
• Shelves. Of any kind. Old and crumbly are totally cool.
• Small tables. End tables, old coffee tables, etc.
• A super huge rug so I can return the one pictured above.

Let's See What's in My Cell Phone's Picture Album

My apartment complex painted all the decks a few weeks ago. I wish they had let me know which day they could be found creepily climbing on my 3rd story deck. Finding the shadow of a man outside my door is a little unnerving.

Menchies spoons make adorable kitchen decorations.

We found this book at the Thrift Store in French Camp, MS. Mrs. O'B had loaned it to someone who apparently donated it to the thrift store. Adam, Kerry, Heather, and Brianna are Chris' cousins. It now proudly displays the last name Chris gave me as it sits in my classroom.

I found this when I opened my computer one morning last week. Ten points if you get the quote. 

My grandmother once lamented that they don't sell pure lard anymore, and pure lard was the best thing to cook with. I am happy to report that Kroger in Nashville still sells pure lard. Yum.

That's about all for now. This is my last week of summer before school starts next Tuesday. I'll be spending the week finishing my classroom, cooking awesome meals while I still have time, and sleeping in til 8:00!

A Kidney Shot...Literally

This has been quite the interesting week for me, physically. I'll spare the details because my old roommates and I use to make fun of people who posted insanely TMI statuses about their health (fyi...no one on facebook wants to know how many centimeters you're dilated). But my trip to the doctor yesterday was too funny not to share. And when I say funny, I mean "Ha ha...I almost died, but didn't, so it's funny."

I have a kidney infection. I had been pretty sure of this since last Friday, but thought maybe it would clear up on its own. Fortunately, my dear friend Heather, 3rd year pharmacy student, informed me that a kidney infection should be treated ASAP. Who knew an untreated infection could eventually kill you?

I found a great little clinic across from my new school. Convenient. Whoop whoop. After some, err...tests, they determined my kidney infection was a little more serious than we thought. Serious, as in, they wouldn't let me leave until they gave me an antibiotic shot in the kidney. Okay...not actually in my kidney. But pretty darn close. It hurt like the dickens. Afterward, they escorted me to the waiting room and told me to wait for 30 minutes. When I looked at them confusedly, they informed me that most people pass out after having this shot and they didn't want me to pass out while driving. Sweet of them. 30 minutes later and no passing out, they escorted me to a different exam room and explained that I needed lots of fluids to "flush" the system. My options were to be hooked up to an IV or go home and promise to drink lots of water. --Side bar: How did these doctors already know that I'm highly unreliable when it comes to following doctor's orders!?-- I chose the latter, obviously, and came home. Only under the condition that I would also take 2 prescribed antibiotic pills before bedtime.

I had no idea kidney infections were that big of a deal. But here is your warning. Go to the doctor or risk the world's most painful kidney shot. Seriously, I think the purpose of the shot was to create so much pain in your leg that you forget that your kidneys hurt. It's over a day later, and I'm still limping.



In other news....

I've been helping Chris study for his upcoming physical therapy test. He labels my arm with all his fancy terms. I label his arm with the answer that is acceptable on my preschool screening test.

There is nothing like a giant plate of shells and cheese when you've been sick for days.

My car has also doubled as our local swimming pool this summer. Every time it rains, inches of standing water puddles on the driver's side. Mostly in the floor board and the driver's seat. After a water hose test, we found the leak is coming from the driver's side handle near the door hinge. We're still not sure where the exterior leak is, so if you think you know, give us a call. I'd appreciate not going into work with a wet tush.

My husband is awesome because...

• He puts up with me in my miserable, sickly state.
• He makes me shells and cheese when I don't feel like cooking.
• He studies super hard so we can enjoy a stable future.
• He tolerates all my faults and quirks without ever yelling or chastising me.
• He tells me I'm beautiful even when I'm makeup-less and haven't showered in 2 days. Love.
• Even when he's super mad because I accidentally locked him out of the apartment and then blow dried my hair for 10 minutes so I couldn't hear him knocking, he tells me he loves me.
• He always stays so calm and level-headed even when I'm in complete freak out mode and planking on the floor.
• He makes life so fun.

The Good Life

Baaaaah it's been a while since I've updated. I've been...uh...super busy. You know, not working and all. In my defense, I have been doing a lot of mental planning for my classroom. It's hard work. Requires lots of naps and such.

Actually, there has been a lot going on. I was all set to blog about it last week, then I thought Chris died one night and had to emotionally recover from that before blogging again. Here's the story:

Let's preface this by saying that I was super emotional last week. I'm talking crying-while-watching-COPS emotional. I don't know. Anyway, let's also preface this by saying that Chris was at a PT school friend's house and having a guy heart-to-heart. (It's GUY love!) So Chris is not in trouble here.
I came home from Leslie's condo around 9:30 pm last Wednesday. Chris was still gone but that was cool because he had just left around 8:00. Here's the progression of events:

9:45- Text "Hey I'm home. Are you still at Josh's?"
--No response.--
10:30- Text "Call me when you're on the way home."
--No response.--
10:45- Text "I'm starting to get worried. Everything okay?"
--No response.--
10:50- Search news websites for reports of accidents. Find mention of several accidents.
10:55- Search TDOT smart map for serious accidents in Nashville.
11:00- Phone call. No answer.
11:05- Phone call. No answer.
11:10- Phone call. No answer.
11:15- Phone call to Josh. No answer.
11:30- Text from Chris that says "Hey we were on the porch and left the phones inside."


I'm not really sure how my brain went from "I'm glad Chris is making PT friends" to "Chris is dead in a ditch" so fast. By the time I heard from him, I was a hyperventilating mess. Maybe because he never stays out very late? Maybe because he's never not responded to a text or phone call from me? Either way, I'm happy to report Chris is alive and well, and I'm working on controlling my anxiety.


We have been somewhat busy the past few weeks. And because I like things organized, let's do this with subheadings.


Dave and Chrissy's Wedding
was July 2, so that meant our first trip to Knoxville since we moved! It was so good to see everybody--BCM friends, Calvary friends, surprise friends! 

Matt and Becca Rossman were so kind to host us Saturday night. Chris looked just plain adorable sleeping next to the Hannah Montana lamp and glow-in-the-dark wall stars. (Thank you Kailee for loaning your bedroom!) Becca made some delicious enchilada casserole and chocolate chip cookies. So sweet! On Sunday, we were pleasantly surprised by the one and only Mark Jennings! He was in town to welcome Amanda back from Argentina, and we enjoyed a free lovely lunch at Calvary together. So good to see that kid! I know Chris was excited because this is how they must enjoy each others' company these days:

Video game headset bonding. It's adorable.

Leslie and Terry got engaged!

I'm pretty sure it's cool to post this now. It's hard to freely talking about it when I've been secret-keeping for months! Terry and I went ring shopping back in May and Terry picked this beauty! I've been bursting at the seams to be excited about it, but played my usual part of the confused/flabbergasted friend who didn't understand why there was no ring yet. But now we can celebrate and enjoy So You Think You Can Dance/Wedding Planning Wednesdays!


4th of July Shenanigans
THANK YOU to Laura Purtee for hosting a schweet party at her place. We enjoyed grilled meat, hummus, and hedgehog-shaped watermelon! And of course, fireworks a la downtown Franklin. We were on top of a big hill and could see fireworks shows going on 15-20 miles away. It was so cool to watch dozens of mini-fireworks shows and celebrate being an American.

Waiting for fireworks to start!

Hanging out with the newly engaged couple!

Sudden Rage Partay
My old travel softball team, Sudden Rage, gets together at least once a year. When you spend that much time together growing up, you have to know what's going on in our adult lives.

Sometime in July 2000

July 5, 2011

 
Itchy and Laura Go to the Vet
Supposedly Itchy has been to the vet before. The animal shelter told us he was neutered, so we assume he has. I, on the other hand, have never been to the vet. So Itchy led the way.

Itchy was very anxious to go. He probably thought we were going to the dog park. Wrong-o!

 
He did SO GOOD. Once he got on table, he entered some kind of weird show dog mode. Leaning forward, nose pointed straight, tail completely straight. The vet even asked if he did competitions. There's a chance Itchy has a past he hasn't told us about...

He was so well behaved and had a perfect bill of health, so he got a whole slice of swiss cheese when we got home.

Tomorrow, Itchy starts Dog Obedience School. So expect some pretty hilarious stories soon.


Physical Therapy School

This is life now. Chris studies, and I pretend to look busy. Sometimes he studies in the dining room where I can see him and take sneaky pictures. Those are exciting nights. But he is doing SO well. I'm pretty sure he's going to have all A's this first semester. I'm proud of my future-doctor-husband!!


That's life for now. It's good. Barring any future near-death/wasn't-anywhere-near-death-at-all experiences, I plan to post again soon.