You know those people who tell you not to wish your life away waiting for the "next step"? They're talking to me. Sorry you had to sit through all those boring talks. I'm even sorrier that you'll have to sit through more because I'm not listening.
I have a pretty serious problem with not enjoying life where I am.
It started in high school. I couldn't wait to graduate and start college at UT. I spent most of my senior year filling out scholarship applications and obsessing over what I needed for college. I spent about three years of college actually enjoying life. I didn't want it to end.
But then I started student teaching, which is one giant time of "preparing for the future." Not good for a girl who always wants the future to be here NOW. At UT, we spend our whole senior year doing a combination of practicums and student teaching in the typical sense. After that, we do a full year of interning. So I had two years of "You're not a real teacher yet, but you're going to work like you are and get paid nothing." I had never wanted the future to arrive so badly....until I met Chris.
I wanted to marry him from day one. He proposed at the beginning of my first year of "real" teaching. After all that waiting for my first "real" classroom, I spent that whole year planning for my wedding. I couldn't wait for the school year to end so I could marry my sweetheart.
It finally did, and we got married. Then we (Chris really) started applying to physical therapy schools. We waited and waited to find out where we would be going. We waited almost a full year. We were so excited about moving to Nashville for physical therapy school.
We got to Nashville. It's been hard. When I was in grad school, it was hard, but it might be harder as a grad school wife. It's a lot of being alone and wishing you could help take some of the burden off your husband. Finals weeks are stressful on all of us. But all of it is worth it because Chris is SO GOOD as what he does and is going to have an amazing career once he graduates. We just have to wait.
And there it is again. More waiting.
I'm currently waiting for 2014. Chris will graduate. We can get out of apartments. We can go on a vacation. Our real life can begin. Of course that's not true--our real life has begun. But that's what it feels like.
This is not an inspirational blog post if that's what you thought it was going to be. Just thought I would share a glimpse into my life. I feel better when I remember that God is on my side, and His timing is perfect. Every single thing in my life has always happened in perfect timing, so I don't know why I bite my fingernails waiting for whatever I think I'm waiting for.
I might be asking for you to not let me wish this time away. Remind me that I'm young, don't have children yet, and should at least try to stay up past 9:30. Or you can punch me when I start whining about the future. Totally your call.
