Strange Things I Imagine Are In My Bed

Am I the only person who feels something brush their leg in the middle of the night and immediately assume it's an endangered species that has crawled into my bed?

probably.

I think this all started about 2 years ago when I woke up and felt a rather large lump under my left leg. I was pretty sure it was a hamster, or other large rodent, so I jumped out of bed, screamed, and began beating the bed  with my flashlight. Finally, I turned my flashlight on but couldn't find anything. Then I realized my left hand was completely asleep, saw a hand-shaped red mark on my leg, and put two and two together. The lump was my hand, completely numb from lack of blood circulation.

Anyway, though I would share a list of things that haunt me at night. Things I have actually searched my bed for. None of which I have ever found.

Yes, I specifically mean the kind of lizard with the Shakespearean collar. 

Something was flopping. Turned out to be my hair in direct path of the air conditioner.

Felt it purring. Then realized my cell phone was vibrating.

One time I woke up and thought Chris was biting my face.

That turned out to be true.