Lonely Dogs
These were a young married couple who lived beside us in Knoxville. They were actually pretty great neighbors, except that they had 2 dogs...in a 700 sq. ft. 1-bedroom apartment. They both worked during the day, which caused their dogs to be very cramped and lonely. Those dogs barked ALL. DAY. I probably would have never known this had we not had 134 snow days last year. I spent most of those days with the TV really loud. In the end, we're not too mad at Lonely Dogs, because for all we know, Itchy could bark all day while we're gone and no one has ever told us.
The McSextersons
This was a young Asian woman who lived beside us. And when I say beside us, I mean our bedrooms were connected by a single wall. At first we thought a seal lived in the apartment beside us, but then it turned out just to be Ms. McSexterson and her boyfriend. Needless to say, we lost many nights of sleep.
Ms. and Ms. McSexterson
After the McSextersons moved out, a very nice young lady moved in. After her first night, which was basically deja vu from the McSexterson era, I decided that I was going to nip this right in the bud. I left a somewhat comical note on her door, politely telling her that we could hear every sound through the bedroom wall. There were no noises that night, but the next morning, we spied our new neighbor giving her lady friend a kiss as they left for work. The night noises eventually started again and we referred to them as Ms. and Ms. McSexterson. Lesson learned. We made sure the bedroom in our next apartment was not connected to the neighbor's bedroom.
Domestic Violence Downstairs
Super awkward screaming matches from the couple downstairs in Knoxville. We knew waaaaaaay too much information about their relationship, but the door slamming bothered us the most. It happened so frequently that one day, their apartment was broken into. Chris and I were home at the time and heard their door get kicked in, but we assumed they were fighting and slamming doors again and didn't even get up to check. We felt pretty horrible when we found out.
Club Upstairs
A few college students moved in above us. They had super loud parties, and apparently never had class on Fridays. Every Thursday was Thirsy Thursday at Club Upstairs.
So that was Knoxville. We were surrounded on all four sides by hilarity. Our apartment in Nashville has been much better...with the exception of the last few weeks.
Belmont Girls
The girls next door go to Belmont and have been awesome neighbors. One of them mentioned one time that she "could just steal my dog, he's so cute." I was a little weirded out by that, but I'm choosing to believe she wouldn't actually do that.
Non-Existent Neighbors
The neighbors on the other side of us are so quiet that they are practically non-existent. They're my favorites.
Dogzzz
We've had two different neighbors downstairs. The first, I refer to as Dogzzz. They had two shih tzus that barked allllll the time. Then one day, one of them bit me. As in, my neighbor let the dog run UP the stairs on its retractable leash to where I was standing, waiting for them to pass. It bit my on the leg, and the owner LAUGHED. Fortunately, they avoided a law suit because it was mis-matched clothes day at school and I had 2 pairs of socks on over some leggings. I was protected.
Club Downstairs
I think Club Upstairs has moved to Nashville and FOUND US. They now live downstairs and have upped their parties to include loudly screaming the name of whoever walks in the door. So far, we know Jerry and Javon (possible Chavon) are frequent guests.
In our years of apartment living, we have developed a set of rules for anyone who aspires to be a good neighbor.
- Don't own a dog.
- Never speak.
- Don't invite anyone over.
- No relationships.
We have unrealistic expectations.
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