I Survived October 2011

October 2011 is pretty much a blur. I have never been that overwhelmed in my entire life. School, home, life...everything got pretty intense. I think I had one actual conversation with a friend. I definitely made a pretty bad impression on a group of new people who probably think I'm some sort of reclusive zombie. Without Chris, I'm not sure I would have survived at all. Seriously, how many people have a husband who takes over all the housework and cooking so their wife can spaz out on a nightly basis? I'll be spending the month of November making it up to him.

Some things I learned this past month:

1. It's okay to break rules.

2. A campfire and s'mores are good for the soul.

3. Halloween costumes make everything better.

4. A silly husband makes any situation better.

5. I am a terrible Nashvillian. I don't own Toms. I've never been to Green Hills. I don't even know where 12th South is. 

6. I wish my friends were not so spread out. The times in between our reunions are pretty lonesome. Let's decide where we're building our group mansion and get on it!

7. While looking for the above picture, I found these gems:

 

We were pretending to be Kermit hanging off the back of a motorcycle.

8. The above pictures make me think of my all time favorite picture of me and Heather.

This is what happens when you try to take a serious picture but can't stop laughing. Much like Leslie's visa picture. Which I don't have a copy of. But it was good.

9. I don't finish anything I start because I get distracted.

See all the above pictures.

10. I need to commit to one fun thing a week to ensure October 2011 never happens again. I guess this week's fun thing will be driving to Florida. Yeah baby.

Things Stress Does to You

This is totally scientific. And happens to everybody. Without variation.

1.   Makes you break out in hives.

Okay, this is actually poison ivy. But I like to think the poison ivy KNEW it had the opportunity to make a stressful week worse.

2.   Causes those around you to feel stressed.

Itchy with his nose under my shirt sleeve. Presumably, because of his stressful life.

3.   Causes you to crave un-holy amounts of jambalaya.

Big thank you to Chris for going to the store just to buy jambalaya stuff and then making it for me. :-)

4.   Makes you spend all day at school on Sunday to organize your Monday-Friday life.

I didn't make this mess, but that's a whole different story.

5.   Gives you mini-heart attacks when you can't find the 9 page lesson plan you wrote for your evaluation. Apparently, your computer will choose where to save your stuff unless you specifically tell it. It won't ask. Shouldn't it KNOW lesson plans go in C:/Documents/School/2nd Grade/Evaluations/Lesson Plans/DON'T GET FIRED?!?!

6.   Renders you unable to hang out with friends because you are at home at 9:00 pm on Friday crying because someone moved a stack of papers.

7.   Causes you to re-evaluate your life and how you're pretty sure you could make a living being an FBI Facebook stalker.

8.   Brings instant tears because your husband offered to bring you a coke from the fridge. You don't know why you're crying. It just sounded like a nice thing to do for someone. Now you're crying because you're embarrassed that a coke made you cry. You start offering nice things to do for your husband in hopes that if he cries too, you won't be so embarrassed. But he doesn't cry. Because cokes shouldn't make people cry.

To sum up, you should avoid getting too stressed because these things WILL happen to you. If you experience any other symptoms, you should probably consult a doctor. Or check and see if you're a teacher.

Pretending I'm a Stay at Home Wife

Pepperoni and Ritz crackers for breakfast this morning. Breakfast. Of. Champions.


I've enjoyed my life as a stay-at-home wife this week. I like to pretend I could stay home all the time, but I know that a) I would inevitably get bored, and b) Chris needs his suga-momma to pay for school. So I've been living it up this week, and by that, I mean laying around all day, cooking delicious food, and pretending to be crafty.

Chris and I babysat for some friends this week. Chris is excellent at baby-holding. Definitely a Heisman winner.

This is Chris saying "Can we puhweeeese have one?!?"

Okay...actually this is Chris saying "Don't even think about" as I squealed over how adorable he looked with a baby.

I had to dip back into reality for a few hours and go back to school to get ready for next week. Really, I just needed to satisfy my weekly quota of tree killing.

I made fish and edamame for dinner last night. No picture of the edamame because we ate it in 4.3 seconds. But for the fish, you just need Old Bay seasoning, lemon juice, garlic, butter, worchestershire sauce, and parmesan cheese. Delish. And only 143 calories per serving!


Breaking News: I'M CRAFTY

I discovered Pinterest last Saturday. For the sake of my marriage and general mental health, I have limited myself to 10 minutes of Pinteresting per day. But I couldn't resist attempting to make something. Mostly because I'm on fall break and felt the need to do something with my life. The hubby would not have been happy if he found me in the same position he left me in that morning....as has been the case on other school holidays.

Anyway... I made coasters! The coasters we have are falling apart and quite frankly, hideous. For years, I've wanted these ceramic coasters that have iconic Knoxville locations on them, but I've come to terms with the fact that they are too expensive. So Pinterest gave me an alternative. Scrapbook paper coasters! Here's the deal for all you non-crafty people, unlike me- the super crafty-McCrafterson. (Hint: I'm not crafty.)

Get some ceramic tiles, scrapbook paper, felt, mod podge (glue and water), and acrylic spray.

Pick out the scrapbook patterns you want and cut them to fit the ceramic tiles.

Mod podge those scrapbook squares til they bleed. Both sides. Tops and bottoms. If you can see it, mod podge it.

While you're waiting for your buckets of mod podge to dry, cut out little felt circles. These will keep the ceramic coasters from scraping up your pretty little coffee table.

Glue your little felt circles to the bottom of the tile. You're supposed to use waterproof glue, but I used Elmer's. I don't think teachers are contractually allowed to use any other type of glue.

Now acrylic spray the crap out of those things. I would do this outside and not next to your dog. Itchy coughed for a while after getting a wind-blast of acrylic in the face.

COASTERS!

After that, I made risotto with shrimp and peas because, again, I'm competing for Wife of the Year. (And because it's really easy, but Chris thinks it's fancy.)

Chris took a sneak picture of a typical O'Brien night.

Also, my brother sent me a nice text this morning and it totally made my day.

Living Up Fall Break

Day One

I am taking FULL advantage of Fall Break. I know 90% of you are saying right now "I wish I had fall break...." I don't really know what to tell you. Sorry? But trust me when I say that teachers would be roaming the streets like zombies at this point in the year if we didn't have fall break. This is really for everyone's safety.

I started the day the way every good wife starts her day--by putting meat in the crockpot. Today's dish is steak coated with A1 sauce, dijon mustard, and white wine. It looks kind of like freshly extracted lung here, but it gets better.

While cooking putting stuff in the crockpot, I noticed that our bananas have a sticker en espanol. I've noticed several of our food items have labels in Spanish. While I am fully aware it is because 80% of our neighborhood is Hispanic, I'm choosing to look at it as an opportunity to cultivate my Spanish skillz.

Then Itchy and I took the 1.2 mile hike to the leasing office to pay our rent. Itchy used this an opportunity to poop on a fire hydrant. I tried to explain to him that you're supposed to pee on fire hydrants, but then realized that my dog is just ballsy like that. Poop away, Itchers!

For lunch, I indulged in my all-time favorite, pizza rolls. I don't have enough time to cook these during the school day, and when I make them on the weekend, the ratio always ends up Laura-35/Chris-5. So these are my home-alone guilty pleasure.



Then I went to Ross (DressforLess...just for you KShell) and bought some fancy sticks. I've been wanting fancy sticks for this corner of our apartment. I challenged Chris when he came home that there was something new in the apartment, thinking this could last days before he found it. Turns out he pays more attention than I thought. I'll have to find sneakier sticks next time.

Itchy chewed his new Durabone on Chris' pants. He's never actually chewed clothing, but he really likes chewing on top of clothing.

Chris had another surprise waiting on him in the fridge. Butterfinger cake! Thanks Aunt Missy for the recipe! I love having time to make cakes.

I told you that extracted lung would get better. We enjoyed steak, potatoes, and Sister Shubert rolls. I'm pretty much wife of the year.

Then Itchy pretended like he was a princess on a pillow. This dog really has come a long way since his shared block cell at the pound.

That was my day. It was glorious. I look forward to retirement, when I can spend everyday baking cakes, feeding my husband steak and taters, and shopping for fancy sticks.

Things That Are Dumb, Part Two

You may remember my original post on things that are dumb. Here is the follow-up.

Invalid Last Name

Well that was quite rude.

The same thing happens when I try to enter my school assigned e-mail address, which also contains an apostrophe, into school-related logins.

Apostrophes rock. That's why my last name is cooler than your last name.


Dogs That Pee On Your Leg

To be fair, we made him hold it for 10 hours, and then he was just so excited to see me. I didn't even yell at him. I think he was just embarrassed.



Weather Forecasts that DON'T Include Power T's

Nashville Weather

Knoxville Weather

It truly is my "Weekly Planner." I know what I'm wearing everyday and my plans for Saturday are marked. Get with the program, Nashville.


Waking up at 5:45 AM

I think this picture says it all.



20 Yard Entrance Ramps onto the Interstate

You know those ramps where you just turn right for days, go in a big circle, and then somehow end up going a different direction? Now imagine you're trying to get on the interstate from a road with a 35 mph speed limit. You turn right for ages, only going 10 mph, because if you go any faster than that, you're in the ditch. Now you finally reach the bottom of the ramp and are ready to merge on to the interstate. BUT WAIT! You have EXACTLY 20 yards to accelerate to 70 mph and merge into traffic. And no one moves over for you.

That is the ramp Chris and I use to get on I-24 from our house every day.

If you go several days without hearing from us, you can probably find us in the Briley Parkway ditch.

Fortunately, Chris and I have developed an INTERSTATE DRIVING MANUAL for Nashvillians. We're still working the kinks out, but as soon as it's ready, prepare to have your mind blown. We will establish the rules of each interstate lane and explain how to not run people off the road. You didn't even know you were a bad interstate driver. Until now.

The Rain Game and Boomsday

I miss Knoxville.

I've missed it everyday since we've moved. I thought I just missed people and places, but this weekend I discovered I missed a whole lot more. I miss being familiar with a city. Knowing how to get somewhere without consulting mapquest first. Having favorite spots. I miss passing places that hold precious memories for me. The place where I met my husband, where he proposed, and where we got married. I miss laughing at places we drive by because something funny happened there 7 years ago and saying "remember that time...?" I miss the culture of Knoxville and the mountains. Did you know the leaves are already changing color there? Mostly, I miss feeling like I belong somewhere. Going to Knoxville this weekend felt like going home. Coming back to Nashville feels like going on a business trip.

But enough moping. I do too much of that lately.

This weekend was awesome because most of my close friends were also back in Knoxville. If you even have to ask why, we are not friends.


UT FOOTBALL

It's the most wonderful time of the year!!

After trying for hours to get into the opening game last year, we absolutely could not miss this year's first game. What a game it was.

The day started off great. Sunny skies with a slight breeze. Tailgating in the shade. Scalping into the lower level for $20 each. We watched the players warm up and reminisced all our great memories in Neyland Stadium. We could see Leslie and Terry from our seats. The announcer asked a man to move his boat because it was the firework landing zone. Awesome things.

Awesome seats.

Our seats came with seat cushions! This would be our downfall later...

Then the rain came....

The most wonderful tradition of our band marching up and down the field, playing Rocky Top, and forming the power T for the players to run through was stopped and everyone was evacuated to the concourse. Chris and I held our ground for a little while because it wasn't even raining yet. Wishful thinking that maybe if we stayed where we were, the band would come back out and we would play football. Not so.

20 minutes after the game was supposed to start. Empty stadium.

94,000 people under the concourse.

RAIN!!!

It was cold. And windy. And delayed football for 2 hours. Booooooo...

When we were allowed to go back to our seats, we were among the first back. We proudly wiped off our seat cushions and sat down. Unfortunately, my seat cushion was full of water. Minor setback, I thought. It will surely dry? No. About 10 minutes later, a slow, lingering drizzle became heavier and heavier. Determined not to retreat to the concourse, we stuck it out.

I did not dry out til Monday.


Boomsday

I have no pictures of Boomsday, mostly because it was raining the whole time. And the opening firework waterfall created so much smoke that we couldn't see 50% of the fireworks. But Chris and I enjoyed our Boomsday traditions of eating funnel cake and counting Native American themed t-shirts. Actually Chris was counting people with visibly missing teeth. He won. We also learned that the exploding fireworks make a cool laser gun sound that bounces off of Thompson-Boling Arena. That made the barely visible fireworks better.

Labor Day...

...was rainy. And cold. And a long drive back to Nashville.

But we did find this little gem on our car window. Thanks Catherine!!

It says "I ♥ the O'B's"

In all, it was so good to see my old friends, visit Calvary, walk around campus, and just enjoy driving around Knoxville. And now Knoxville and I will return to our long-distance relationship of counting down the days til we see each other again and stalking each other on facebook.