Funny Things about Teaching PreK

Tomorrow is my last day with my PreK babes. I'm going to miss teaching the little ones so much! They love you when you are not wearing makeup. (Even though they ALWAYS ask why you look ugly today.) They love you when you just chewed them out. They love you when you are not feeling good. And they love you no matter how bad your hair looks, and usually offer to "fix it" for you.

So here are a few things I have found to be really funny about being a PreK teacher...

Crumbs on Shirt

Kids. Are. Messy. I don't know how they can stand to walk around with that much stuff on their fingers. Now, when I say "Crumbs on Shirt" is a funny thing about teaching, I don't mean crumbs on kids' shirts. I'm talking about MY shirt. I tried to take a picture but it was hard to see. Every day, always, I have a line of crumbs, playdough, paint, and other mysterious substances in a straight line across the bottom of my shirt. "How does this happen?" you might ask. For a while, I thought I was leaning against tables that weren't clean yet. But then I began to notice that the crumb line is at the exact height that my kids always tap me to get my attention. (If you aren't around kids much, you may not know that children will tap you and say your name for an hour straight until you acknowledge them.) At the beginning of each year, my kids always tap me...let's say...a little "higher." After about a month, I train them that you are not allowed to touch women there, and they move their sights to my midsection. Hence, the line of finger prints on all my shirts.


Awkward Positions

Why yes, that is me stabbing a pumpkin with a very large knife. And sometimes, with classrooms experiments, there's just no classy and professional way to get the job done. I also find myself squeezing in very small spaces, such as the 10-inch-wide chairs or when the kids "save you a spot" in the circle. The most awkward position? When the kids daily want to measure themselves compared to me. Just take a guess where all of their heads measure...



Snot, Poop, and Blowing Chunks
It doesn't bother me anymore. In fact, "Mrs. Laura! Come look at what I did in the bathroom!" is one of the most common phrases heard in my class.

The best bathroom story? When the boys decided to have a "peeing for distance" contest.


Awkward Books

I have found all of these in my classroom.

To be fair, all of them are appropriate at very specific times with only the child who needs it. Mostly though...just awkward. And funny when the kids find them on the shelf and ask you to read it.



Compliments I've Received...
"I like your ears."

"You are very tall."

"You look skinny today."

"You look better with makeup."

"I like when you yell at me with your inside voice."

"I have those shoes too."

"My dad thinks you're hot."

"My mom wants to know how old you are."

"I thought you were 47."

"Can I have your purse?"

"Your eyes look better with the sparkly stuff."

"I want big teeth like you."

"I'm going to steal your job when I grow up."

And finally...

               "Tell Mr. Chris to go home. You're mine."